For the nth time, stop equating violence to masculinity



This column may contain strong language, sexual content, adult humor, and other themes that may not be suitable for minors. Parental guidance is strongly advised.

And once again, toxic masculinity rears its ugly, unwelcome, and frighteningly dangerous head. Or should that be its inadequate, seething, and pitifully fragile ego?  

Only a man—in this case, two men—so insecure, so lacking in empathy, so festering in a deep and pointless hatred that unfortunately can be lethal, can be so offended by a Black gay man who just happens to be on a hit TV show playing a Black gay man, that they beat him up, throw bleach on him, and put a rope around his neck while shouting racist and homophobic slurs. Some media platforms say the attackers allegedly cried out, “This is MAGA country!” 

Only a man so angry, so full of pity for himself, so unable to get laid, can be so personally aggrieved that no woman wants to go out with him, and that he’s still a virgin that he plans a mass shooting in Utah and announces it on social media, threatening to kill “as many girls as I see.”

Geez, what f*cking losers all these pathetic—and almost inevitably White—men are. It would be so risible if they weren’t walking killing machines capable of fatally harming and assaulting the people they’ve somehow decided are responsible for their own misery—women, Blacks, gays, transgenders—instead of their own loathsome selves.

I am so done with the mainstream media constantly throwing these bigoted, toxic white males softballs, trying to analyze why they feel so much rage, why they feel society has failed them. Oh, poor White mass shooter, such a troubled child since his elementary years, no friends, both parents working… Oh poor White thugs in their MAGA hats, so tough-talking on the outside but so fragile on the inside, so full of resentment that economic opportunities have bypassed them in favor of people of color… Oh poor ignorant White loser, never had a girlfriend, weighed down by the expectations of society, unable to adjust to a world he no longer recognizes…

Yes, these men may be troubled. But they also get a pass somehow by virtue of White privilege. A huge part of their problem is that they refuse to see that they are the problem. The world is changing but they won’t or can’t evolve in order to adapt to the changes and survive. They feel their privilege is being eroded, and the “others” they imagine are usurping that privilege from them do not deserve it. So they cling to the belief that the world revolves around them and everyone else must adapt—or die, as some do, literally, eventually, at their hands. Moreover, they seek comfort in their own echo chamber, populated by like-minded people, where the warped sound of their hate and rage bounces against the walls they’ve built around themselves.

We should all stop p*ssyfooting and call these men out for what they really are. Racists. Bigots. Terrorists. Toxic. They perpetrate acts of hate and violence, and should be prosecuted and punished for what in fact amount to crimes.

Jussie Smollett’s attackers are criminals. Their racism and their homophobia are inseparable from their criminal natures, and it’s a relief to know that video footage has surfaced of their heinous actions, and they are likely to be prosecuted in Chicago for hate crimes.

No, really, help me understand: What is so threatening about a gay Black man? Or a gay man? Or a Black man for that matter? No doubt these God-fearing men wanted to teach Smollett a “lesson” for his open embrace of a “perverse” lifestyle, preferring so suck d*ck instead of eat p*ssy. So they beat him up because that’s what “real” men do—they display their power through violence. No doubt these “superior” White men wanted to put him in his place and tied a noose around him to send the clear message that he had no right to aspire to be anything other than the “slave” that he was.  

If you ask me, it’s pretty obvious that these men hated the fact that Smollett was undoubtedly richer, more successful, more stylish, more educated, better brought up, and more famous than they could ever hope to be. And that he was probably getting laid more often, albeit by other men, but who cares? Action is action. And I wouldn’t be surprised if they were jealous of his Black d*ck, which in all probability, if the myth holds true, was bigger than theirs.  

Why do toxic men think that beating up gay men is an assertion of their virility? On the contrary, it exposes them for what they are: insecure cowards whose sense of masculinity is powered by rage and not kindness or compassion or intelligence.  

And here comes another man who uses social media to beat up a woman, slut-shaming her for what she was wearing to work. Oh the poor Alabama man—Republican, of course—so outraged, so triggered by the boots and fitted short dress Democratic Arizona Sen. Kyrsten Sinema wore to Congress the other day that he sputtered about on Facebook, saying she was “inappropriately dressed.”

Granted, what Sinema wore might not have been my personal choice, but so f*cking what? In fact, bravo to Sinema for not giving a sh*t about what old fusty White men think. She’s never hidden the fact that she’s bisexual and atheist; good on her for not allowing herself to be dictated to by men who are terrified about losing the privilege they’ve enjoyed and abused all these decades. And why, with a president as spectacularly ignorant and bigoted as Donald Trump do such men even make an issue out of a woman’s outfit? Was she immodestly exposed, cleavage on display? No. Though her dress was short, did they reveal her butt for all to see? No. Did her over-the-knee boots go beyond the knees and cover practically her thighs? Yes. So how much of her body was revealed? Very little, actually.

So what was Alabama State Auditor Jim Zeigler’s problem? That she didn’t wear a dull gray pinstripe suit like all the other men? Or that he couldn’t wear that to work?

Just do a Google image search of Jim Zeigler and his many wacky outfits. Maybe he’s been spending too much time in the closet.

B. Wiser is the author of Making Love in Spanish, a novel published by Anvil Publishing and available in National Book Store and Powerbooks, as well as online. When not assuming her Sasha Fierce alter-ego, she takes on the role of serious journalist and media consultant. 

For comments and questions, e-mail

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.


Art by Marian Hukom

For the latest in culture, fashion, beauty, and celebrities, subscribe to our weekly newsletter here

Follow Preen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Viber

Related stories:
The MAGA teens’ bigotry is a horrifying look of what the future holds
Women are entitled to their own views and opinions, Speaker John Bercow agrees
When choosing between Longganisa and Bratwurst, does size matter?
Men like Donald J. Trump need to give up toxic and fragile masculinity